George
Matrix, MD Detective-Gynecologist Chapter 1, Part 1
GEORGE
MATRIX
DETECTIVE-GYNECOLOGIST
There are more things in
heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
HamletThan are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Act 1, Scene 5
Chapter one
I pulled into the doctor's parking lot on Monday like any
other day, found a spot, locked the roadster and walked across the pavement to
the physician’s office building. The lot
was half full of cars but still seemed pretty lonely. No one noticed me as I walked along. I hoped for a quiet day with no major interruptions. Just see my patients and go home. I needed rest.
I had to keep my mind under tight control because if I
didn't I could be easily overwhelmed by all of the problems and issues that
swirled around my life and work. It was
hard to find peace within the maelstrom.
You had to consciously work for it and I had worked long and hard to
mold my life into the shape that I thought it should be. In some areas I had been very successful but
in others the story was quite different.
I knew from experience that jumping right in, letting all of the
feelings come, wasn't a good way to begin the day. I had to get my mind ready for how cold the
water might be.
The weekend had been difficult, starting with early Friday
morning coffee with Detective Dirk. We were
celebrating, at least celebrating as much as Dirk could manage. The case that he had given up on, the one the
police department had deep-sixed, the one I picked up and investigated because
I thought there was a chance and because I liked the looks of the client, a
blonde with no tan lines and a great smile, was solved, the "alleged"
killer in the slammer and my client happy.
She was happy to have the killer of her millionaire husband behind bars,
happy to have her own motives cleared and happy to have me as her detective and
her gynecologist. I'd given her the best
that I could, the best detective work money could buy and the most thorough
physical exam she would ever have.
Detective
Dirk sat across the cracked linoleum table from me. After a big case broke we would sit and stare
at each other over a strong, black cup of coffee. Lilly’s diner had a lot of what people
politely called "character".
Others might say it needed some repairs, but it was always packed with
people. Fronting on Broadway, the main thoroughfare,
and painted a fading pink, a lone neon sign declared “Lilly’s” above the glass
front door. All of the windows were
steamed, it was noisy and there was the familiar smell of frying bacon belching
from the swinging doors as the waitresses went in and out from the
kitchen. Booths of faded red vinyl lined
the windows and old aluminum kitchen tables separated the booths from the long
row of stools along the counter. It
seemed that every seat was taken and waitresses wove their way between tables
and along the narrow aisles balancing plates of steaming scrambled eggs and
pancakes that were too big for the plate.
Watching
Dirk, it occurred to me that he must always sleep in his clothes. I wondered if he had gotten hold of some
manual years ago that described what a police detective was supposed to look
like and how he was supposed to talk and act and had memorized it word for
word. Either that or the work made him
what he was.
I wondered
about the “how to” book that I must have studied. I called it the “What Life Should Be”
manual. It started with a confused
childhood of strict discipline and stoic emotion, a fascination in the opposite
sex during the teen years (which might have had its origins in my mother’s
woefully inadequate explanation of where babies came from) and an overpowering
drive to be responsible, dedicated, the great White Knight with dreams of being
a hero as I accelerated through adulthood.
Now, I was playing out my life the “way it was”, trying to understand
and accept the role I was given (or in some cases created by my own actions), trying
to look the part, accept the part, be the part.
Still, I had dreams and passion that lurked within me.
The reality
and end result of where my life had taken me was what I was now, as I sat and
watched Dirk. I was filled with
conflicting emotions, desires and drives that dared and drove me. It was only my dual professions that seemed
to allow release from my internal struggles, even though they may have been
responsible for many or most of the turmoil.
Dirk, I was sure, looked at me as a complete, successful and talented
man; someone to emulate. It was easier
to let him keep thinking that, than to try and explain what was going on
inside. It would have been more
information than he would have wanted, or needed. His world would be shaken and
he didn’t do well with that. He needed
things simple and orderly, despite his habits or habitus.
Whatever the
case one thing was certain, Dirk was a man who would rather bite you on the ass
than give you a complement. But, after
staring into his coffee until it was cold, with a set of his jaw and an
intensity in his eyes that said he could keep it hot by force of will, he
looked up, twisted his mouth into what he probably thought would pass as a
smile and said to me, "I've got to hand it to you Matrix, you did it. I didn't think the case had a corn flakes
chance in a long soak of milk to be solved.
I honestly thought she did it.
Hell, she stands to inherit 50 million bucks. That's plenty of motive in my book. I saw the evidence just like you and I didn't
see the crucial piece. You did! I admit it, Matrix, if there is a mystery and
a woman involved, you're the man to beat."
I looked past Dirk, trying to avoid thinking about the
weird analogies he often sprinkled into his conversations, and studied one of
the waitresses walking between the aluminum tables, squeezing around the
occupied chairs. Black, beautiful smile
and heavy set, she bent over each table taking orders, her ample breasts
bulging and swaying just under the plunging neckline of her uniform. It was enough to add another 5% to her tip
for most customers. You could tell that
she knew most of the regulars. I
wondered if she took good care of herself, had regular check-ups, did
self-breast exams. I smiled, "Well,
Dirk, you just have to know women. And
it’s a matter of gestalt and which piece of evidence to follow. Being a doctor I've learned how to read
people, look at the signs and symptoms, see the little things that others miss;
and I do have a deep appreciation of women.
I'm just glad I could help her out."
I may have been needling Dirk again, but what I said was
true. I did appreciate woman. There is something about them, something
about the way they think and something about how they move and the strength
that they carry in their bodies. I
readily admitted to my patients that there was no way men could ever have
babies. Women also have a sensuality
that, if it isn’t damaged by abuse or neglect (things that a lot of men seemed
to be more proficient at), is mesmerizing, captivating. And finally, they have the clitoris. The only human organ whose sole purpose is
sexual enjoyment, it contains four times the number of nerve endings as the
penis. Most men either don’t understand
it or take it for granted.
Yes, I definitely liked women, professionally and
personally. I had an innate “sense”
about them that I couldn’t explain but could definitely feel when it was tuning
in. As it seemed with all things, they
contributed to both the wonder and the pain within me. In my life they had come and gone. Some had come and stayed. They all had added their mark to my life,
both good and bad, and I carried their memories with me. Some I thought about every day, with a smile
on my face; others I used all the powers of my mind to try and forget. All of the women in my life were important to
me and I tried to treat them all with compassion and caring. I had a reputation of being very attentive to
their emotional and physical needs. I
wanted to be, needed to be, thought of as a good man, a good physician, a good
detective.
There were some memories that were still hard for me to
face. I am a man carrying all of the
foibles of humanity as much as any other.
I didn’t want to admit to Dirk that I made mistakes. He wouldn’t know what to make of such an
admission. It would be foreign to the
way he thought about life in general and me in particular. But those mistakes were made honestly and
were part of me, added color to me, “colors taken from the palette of
experience and brushed across the canvass of my life.” Even when I thought it, it sounded trite, but
it was true. I hoped that those mistakes
improved me, made me better. Sometimes I
had my doubts.
I was losing myself in my reveries, about my women and the
memories they had left, when my beeper went off. It was Sarah.
The number on the LCD was for her cell phone. I had left her feeling good earlier that
morning. Sometimes that feeling lasted,
sometimes it didn’t. She was always glad
when I broke a case because she hoped, then, that that meant extra time for us. We were still trying to define our life
together. She gave up a lot and accepted
a lot in our relationship and I did try to understand and make it up to her
when I could. Our responsibilities and
commitments often kept us on the run and apart.
She tried to understand me, the kind of life that I led and the needs
that I had professionally and as a man. Her
understanding, however, didn’t at times come without stress and tension. Sometimes it came with anger, upset and
sadness. She was a very important person in my life and a very good woman. I was committed to giving her and the child
we had together a good life and she knew it.
We had a lot of history.
We had gone through a lot of hurt and a lot of happiness. We made big mistakes together and we learned
from some of them. It wasn’t always
easy. In fact it was seldom easy. I was the first to admit that having a
relationship with me, as a physician and as a man, was difficult at best. My intentions were always good but then,
again, that was what the road to hell was paved with. After ten years we had come out of the other
end of a dark tunnel. There was more
light now but we still struggled with compromise and balance. I didn’t envy her.
I had a past life whose only good contribution was the one
kid I brought with me. Sarah had a much
different experience but brought two kids along with her. Then we had one together and that was a whole
story in itself. We had a common
agreement of solidarity and purpose and battled through the raising of them;
and not without scars. But they all were
turning out to be good, sensitive human beings who cared about others and that
is what we thought was important. We
were down to the final molding of the one that we had created.
The number I was looking at was her cell phone and, given
the time it was, she must have been taking our youngest daughter to
school. It was always an ordeal, a
battle of wills. If you put the two of
them together, they were always late and, since she always drove our daughter
to school, they were always late. It was
kind of a running joke at the school. I punched
in the numbers.
“Hello, George?”
“Hi sweetheart.
What’s up?” I could tell by her tone
that she was tense but holding up.
“I just dropped off our sweet, but late, daughter and was
on my way to get a latte and I thought I would call and see if you could meet
me for coffee? I was hoping we could
spend some time together this morning.”
“Thanks for calling, honey; I wasn’t sure I would hear from
you this morning. I was thinking a lot
about you and needed to tell you that I love you.” Dirk was fidgeting, with a sour look on his
face, across from me. “I’ll have to take
a raincheck on that coffee though; my day is looking pretty hectic right
now. Did Amelia get her homework
done? Is she ready for her presentation
this morning?”
“Yes, she and I ran through her speech one last time before
school. That may be why we were late. She is good.
I think that she inherited your memory and flair for the dramatic.”
“Well I know that she’s getting her physical beauty and
compassion from you.” Amelia was eleven
and a good kid. She was an interesting
mix of her mother and me. “Tell her I’m
proud of her and I’ll try to let you know what’s happening to me today.”
“That would be good.
I’m sorry we can’t get together.
Talk to you later. I love you.”
She hung up but I continued the conversation for a moment,
just to irritate Dirk, “Oh your welcome honey.
I’m always glad to be of service to a woman with an itch that needs
scratching. Wow, you were really
something this morning. I don’t know
where you got the idea for that position.
Let’s try that again, soon. Okay,
I love you too, bye.”
I hung up the phone and Dirk started right in, he didn’t
miss a beat. He was still chewing on
what I had said about the millionairess and glad that he didn’t have to listen
to my end of the conversation any longer.
"Yeah, I'll bet you wanted to help that rich babe
out. C'mon doc, tell me a little bit
about that dish. Even without 50 million
bucks she looks mighty tasty to me."
I looked away from the waitress, now sauntering along the
row of stools at the counter. I thought
I recognized her as someone I had examined before, but to really know she would
have to put on an examination gown.
Probably shouldn't ask her to.
Probably would create quite a little stir at this diner; though I could
give her a card. Glancing sideways at
Dirk I gave him a wry smile, "That's the good thing about being a
detective-gynecologist, Dirk. I get to
keep confidentiality at both ends."
I could tell that Dirk wanted more, but I just smiled and
took another sip of coffee. My client
was a beautiful woman and she did have 50 million bucks, but it was important
to me to maintain my complicated and convoluted code of detective-gynecologist
ethics. I didn't want to jeopardize my
reputation. Women came to me for many
reasons and I wanted them to feel secure.
They needed to know they could tell me anything without fear of
leakage. They needed to be able to turn
their bodies over to me and feel that they were safe and that it was the best
thing that they could have ever done for themselves. There was a lot of trust involved and I could
be trusted in both my professional and my personal life. The women I cared for in both lives knew it,
though the complexities of that trust were sometimes hard to explain. Dirk never said it but, looking at him, I
knew he felt it in his gut, I took good care of women.
The waitress walked up to our table and leaned over. "So, Detective Dirk I notice this fella
with you. He keeps looking at me and I'm
wondering if you should introduce us?"
She leaned more towards me, her bulging breasts fighting to stay covered
beneath her blouse, as she looked sideways at Dirk. "I'm thinking maybe we met before or
something."
Hardly looking up from his coffee Dirk muttered into the
cup, "Yeah, Molly this is Doctor George Matrix, he and I work together
sometimes. Matrix, this is Molly
Harmon. Molly works here most
days."
I began to speak, when a surge of awareness hit her. "Say you're that Detective-Gynecologist
guy I read about! When I read that piece
in the paper about you the other day I said to myself, Hey! I think I went to this guy years ago. Now that I look at you I know I'm right. You've changed a little over the years but
not that much, Doc. You remember me,
don't you? I guess I’ve changed some
too. My name used to be Sanders. You delivered my kid! You know women don’t like having a strange
man mess with them, you know, down there.
But as I remember, you weren’t all that hard to take. Seems like you were dressed more like a
cowboy, though."
I looked at her intently.
She was like I said; big, black and with a great smile. I had gone through a cowboy phase years ago
but I got out of it because the surgical shoe covers that the hospital provided
weren’t keeping the bodily fluids off of my boots and they were to expensive to
ruin and to hard to get off for deliveries.
She was right; it had been a while, maybe ten years now.
"Yes, Molly Sanders.
I believe I do remember you. It's
been a while though." As she leaned
closer, I noticed a distinct cafe-au-lait birthmark on her left breast,
disappearing under her neckline, darker than the surrounding skin. Its outline vaguely resembled the state of Texas . "Yes, I do
remember you. You're originally from Nebraska , right." I had
a funny way of remembering women I had met and examined. It was a method that wasn't always easy to
explain. But it worked, and women surely
appreciated the personal touch that it added.
"That's right.
Wow, you remembered! That's
pretty impressive Doc." Her eyes
widened, "Say, how about another cup of coffee on me.” She tipped her coffee pitcher toward my cup
from about a foot and a half away and let it fly. She hit the cup dead center, filled it to the
brim and didn’t spill a drop. “You know,
meeting you makes me glad I came over, 'cause I really need to get in to see a
doctor. My periods have really been
messing up lately. A lot more bleeding
than usual. And really unpredictable,
not regular at all."
Her forwardness and manner didn’t even phase me and I
didn’t have to look at Dirk to know he was squirming. I got this all the time, from strangers on
the street who recognized me, to family members. Women never seemed to have trouble talking to
me about their bodies, about things they probably wouldn’t mention to their
husbands or lovers. I reached into my
shirt pocket and pulled out a card.
Judging from her apparent age and weight I suspected that her ovaries
weren't working right. Probably not
ovulating. "No problem, glad to
help, just call my office. I'll talk to
my receptionist and have her work you in next week if you'd like." Handing out cards was something not every
gynecologist did. Most would be a little
nervous about it. My experience was that
women appreciated my up-front attitude and didn't mind. They took it as a compliment more often than
not. Handing out cards had helped me to
build quite a large practice. I didn't
always hand them out to the real beauties either. All types of women got my cards, women that
interested me in many ways. Heavy, thin,
short, tall, beautiful, homely, buxom, small, they knew they were all equal in
my eyes and that I would treat them right.
I didn't see any conflict of interest in handing out cards to women I
encountered outside of the office, I knew I was good and that I could
help. All they had to do was ask, or
call for an appointment.
Molly read the card over the table, "Dr. George Matrix
Detective-Gynecologist. That's great,
thanks doc, I'll give you a call. Maybe
I ought to talk to you about my slime-bag ex too!” She paused, seemed to be lost in thought, and
I wondered what she was doing to him somewhere in her mind. Then she came back
to real time, “Say, you know this diner is a hub of a lot of activity besides
just eating and sometimes I hear things, if you know what I mean. If you ever need information and I got it,
all you got to do is ask." She gave
me a sly wink and sauntered away from the table, smiling and slipping the card
into her skirt pocket, then stopped at a nearby table, pulled out her order
pad, leaned over and began taking orders.
Dirk looked up from his coffee, his eyes following Molly
through the diner. "Matrix, I don't
know how you do it. Must be half the
female population in this town been to see you and the other half wants to get
in. Why you want to spend time running
down killers, drug lords, gangsters and other riffraff? Doesn't make sense to me. Hell, I wish I was the printer that made your
cards. Bet I could make more doing that
then I get from the precinct."
"That's a hard question to answer Dirk. For me being a detective and a gynecologist is
a perfect blend and I like the challenge.
But it's my overall relationship to women that's the key. As a man I can appreciate and enjoy all women
in general, as a gynecologist I feel a responsibility to keep their body’s
healthy and working right and as a detective I want them to feel safe in this
world and to get a fair shake. I want to
protect them and fix what I can in their life physically, emotionally or
otherwise, which takes me back to being a man, I suppose. It may be unorthodox but I’m always
professional."
Dirk stared hard at me.
He never seemed to listen to answers to questions, "Well,
congratulations on your last case, but I still got work to do and there are
some disturbing notes coming across my desk lately and I got a woman calling me
non-stop. Maybe you can help."